Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
