I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
