her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
