This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize