holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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