i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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