you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
