Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
