how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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