i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
