no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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