Whod you bang
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize