You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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