Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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