i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
