Sponge bath it is.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
