How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I currently don't understand fingers.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
