thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
