Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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