I cockslap morals
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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