Porn is love you can see.
Do vagina's smell?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
