Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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