I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
