His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
