apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
