Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize