I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
