its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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