Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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