Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
