So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Come see our sink grown plant.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
