38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize