i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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