I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
