i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
