plz talk dirty to me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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