i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
