bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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