Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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