I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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