So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize