just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
