I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
