It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
