apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am midnight drunk by noon
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
