I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
