this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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