its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize