Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
