there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize