the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
and you fell through a lawn chair
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
