i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
