Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize