I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
