i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
