I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
