If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
