and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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