U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
