my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
