Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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