is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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