Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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