normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
