did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he puts the penis in happiness.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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