She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
