That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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