if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
