I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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