she was so not down for the gang bang
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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