there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
