bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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