fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
