I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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