Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
