u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
